Author: Shelby Smyrl

The Perils of Making Lifetime Gifts and Loans to Your Children

Posted on | by Shelby Smyrl
When counseling clients, I am always concerned when I learn that parents have made, or are proposing to make, large monetary gifts or loans to their adult children. The reasons for such gifts or loans vary. Perhaps a child finds him or herself in financial difficulty, often as a result of a job loss, divorce, business failure, or dependency addiction. Few parents, even if they have limited means, turn away a child in need.

As the father of two children, I have nothing against such a parental bailout where a child is in genuine need. After all, family is family. However, I frequently see situations where an adult child convinces his or her parents into transferring a significant portion of the parents’ life savings for non-essential needs—often for a questionable business venture. In a perfect world, the child should first look to a bank for financing. If a bank will not provide financing, it should be a red flag to the parent to think twice before providing the requested funds, unless the parent is prepared to permanently part with the money.

In one recent case, my client had given her son $300,000 that the son applied to the purchase of a sports bar. The transaction was deemed a loan and the son gave his mother a rudimentary promissory note. However, the mother did not retain an attorney so she did not have a mortgage placed upon the property, leaving her loan unsecured. In relatively short order, the son’s “can’t miss” sports bar went bust and the mother’s chances of getting the $300,000 back is now uncertain, at best.

In other situations, money may be given to a child in drips and drabs. Typically, the child in such cases has chronic financial problems and even as an adult is largely dependent upon the parent for support. Sometimes, the child is just unlucky in life, but all too often I see cases where a parent enables a lazy or unmotivated child to live off of the parents’ resources.

In cases where a parent is providing help to an only child, my main concerns are typically (i) to ensure that the parent retains sufficient resources to maintain their standard of living, (ii) to understand the estate and gift tax implications of the transfers, and (iii) to understand the implications of such asset transfers on the parent’s potential Medicaid eligibility should long-term care someday be necessary. If those three issues are satisfactorily addressed, then a parent can make such transfers without significant concern.

However, when there is more than one child in the picture, the situation takes a different turn. In a situation where parents who have multiple children are financially assisting fewer than all the children, it is important that the clients understand the potential for significant strife among their children if the parents haven’t made clear in their estate plan how such lifetime payments are to be treated after the parents’ deaths.

Often the most equitable approach is to provide in the parents’ will or living trust that the lifetime transfer to a child is to be deemed an advance on that child’s inheritance. This is what was done in the case mentioned above where the mother gave her son $300,000 for his ill-fated sports bar. This woman’s estate plan provides that to the extent that the son hasn’t repaid the loan, his share of the inheritance is to be offset by the unpaid amount.

For example, if the mother’s total estate is $1,000,000 at her death, the client’s son and daughter would have otherwise been entitled to one-half of the assets, or $500,000 each. Luckily, the mother’s plan provides that the $300,000 loan amount (or any remaining unpaid amount) is added to the total estate for determining each child’s equitable share. If the son’s entire $300,000 loan remains unpaid at his mother’s death, then the total estate for distribution purposes is $1,300,000, with each child to be allocated from that sum the amount of $650,000. Since the son has already received $300,000 of that amount, he would only receive $350,000 of the $1,000,000 from his mother’s estate and his sister would receive $650,000.

Under this scenario, each sibling will receive substantially equal amounts of their mother’s estate, including the large lifetime transfer to the son. Such an equitable solution is far more likely to be palatable to the children and is far more likely to result in harmonious sibling relations, rather than the case where large lifetime gifts and/or unpaid loans are not factored into the estate planning design.

Naming a Guardian for Your Minor Child(ren)

Posted on | by Shelby Smyrl
If you have a minor child, you need to name someone to raise your child (a guardian) in the event that both parents should die before your child becomes an adult.  While the likelihood of that actually happening is slim, the consequences of not naming a guardian are great.
 
If you don’t name a guardian, a judge (a stranger who does not know you, your child, or your relatives) will decide who will raise your child without knowing whom you would have preferred.  You can’t assume the judge will automatically appoint your mother or sister to raise your children; anyone can ask to be considered and the judge will select the person he/she deems most appropriate.
 
If you have named a guardian in your will, the judge will still need to appoint the guardian, but will usually go along with your choice.  If you are divorced, the judge will usually name the other parent, but will appreciate knowing if you have any concerns about his or her parenting capabilities.
 
Choosing a Guardian
The person you name as guardian does not have to be a relative, so consider all of your options. You may, in fact, be very close with another family with whom your child is already comfortable, and you may agree to be guardian for each other’s kids if something happens to either of you.
 
As you begin to list and evaluate your candidates, consider the following:

  • Parenting style, values, and religious beliefs should be similar to your own.  If your candidates have children, observe how they are raising and disciplining them.  If they don’t have children, find out all you can about how they were raised; people tend to parent how they were parented.
  • How far away from you do they live?  Would your child have to move far away from a familiar school, friends, and neighborhood at an emotionally difficult time?
  • How comfortable with them is your child now?
  • How prepared emotionally are your candidates to take on this added responsibility?  Someone who is single may resent having to care for someone else’s children.  Someone with a houseful of their own kids may not want more around or they may welcome the addition.
  • Do they have the time and energy?  Your parents may have the time, but consider if they would have the energy to keep up with a toddler or teenager.  Someone who works long hours may not seem the ideal candidate at first, but they may be willing to change their priorities if needed.
  • If your candidates have children of their own, would your child fit in or feel lost?
  • Consider the age of your child and of your candidates.  An older guardian may become ill or even die before your child is grown.  A younger guardian, especially an adult sibling, may be concentrating on finishing college or starting a career.  If your child is older and more mature, he or she should have some input into your decision.
  • Is your selection willing to serve?  Ask.  Don’t assume they will take the job if it comes to them.
The Financial Side
Raising your child should not be a financial burden for the person you select as guardian and a candidate’s lack of finances should not be the deciding factor in your decision.  You will need to provide enough money (from your own assets, from life insurance, or both) to provide for your child the way you want.  You may even want to help the guardian buy a larger car or add onto their existing home, if needed.
 
Consider naming someone else to handle the finances.  Naming one person to raise the children and handle the money can make things simpler, because the guardian would not have to ask someone else for money.  The best person to raise your child may not be the best person to handle the money and it may be tempting for them to use this money for their own purposes.
 
Many parents set up a trust for the child’s inheritance (so the child will not inherit everything at age 18) and name someone other than the guardian to be the trustee of the trust.  There can be disagreements over expenses (for example, whether the child should go to public or private school), so be sure to name two people who can work together for the best interests of your child.
 
Provide a Letter of Instruction
Consider writing a letter to the guardian explaining your expectations and hopes for your child’s upbringing.  Include your desires about your child’s education, activities, and religious training.  Read and update your letter every year as your child grows and interests develop.  You may also want to discuss these with your selected guardian.
 
Having a Hard Time Making a Decision?
If you are having trouble making a decision, list the pros and cons for each candidate.  If you and your child’s other parent are having trouble coming to a mutual agreement, try making your own separate lists of top candidates and look for some common ground. Be sure to name at least one alternate in case your first choice becomes unable to serve.
 
Keep in mind that the person you select as guardian will probably not raise your child.  The odds are that at least one parent will survive until your child is grown.  You are simply being a good parent here and planning ahead for an unlikely, but possible, situation.  Next, realize that no one but you will be the perfect parent for your child, so you are probably going to have to make some compromises in some areas.  Also, you can change your mind.  In fact, you should review and change the guardian as your child grows and if the guardian’s situation changes.
 
Don’t wait too long.  Remember, if you do not name someone to raise your child and the unlikely does happen, a total stranger will decide who will raise your child without your input.

Special Needs Planning

Posted on | by Shelby Smyrl

In this article, we will focus on an area that will likely apply to you or someone close to you: planning for a loved one with special needs. We will look at the increasing need for this planning; the decrease in government benefits; the concerns families have about providing for their loved ones; whether it is worth protecting government benefits; and planning tips to help you provide for and protect your loved one for as long as he or she lives.

The Increasing Need for Special Needs Care and Planning
Chances are there is or will be someone in your family (child, grandchild, nephew, niece, parent, grandparent) who will need long-term help managing personal care and/or finances. A quick look at the following statistics confirms that the need for special needs care and planning is increasing:

  • In 1992, there were 15,580 children ages 6-22 who were diagnosed as having what is now called an Autism spectrum disorder. In 2006, the number was 224,594.
  • In 2006, there were an estimated 24.9 million adults in the United States with Serious Psychological Distress.1
  • An estimated 4.4 % of U.S. adults may have some form of bipolar disorder during some point in their lifetime. 2
  • In 2006, an estimated 22.6 million people in the U.S. (9.2% of the population age 12 or older) were substance dependent or abusive in the previous year.3

Because many of the conditions causing a need for special care do not decrease life expectancy, families are seeking answers on how to provide the best quality of life for their loved ones for the rest of their lives . . . which, for a young child, could be 70 years or longer.

Fewer Programs Are Available
At the same time that the need for support services is increasing, government and non-government programs are being reduced and even eliminated due to the strain on state and local budgets and pressures to reduce deficit spending at the federal level. Once a program benefit is lost, for whatever reason, it may be difficult if not impossible to get it back.

Many families with special loved ones are losing faith that these programs will be there to provide the needed benefits in the future. They are wisely (and often fearfully) looking at alternatives to provide those services. Common concerns are:

  • Who will care for my loved one when I am gone?
  • Who will be my loved one’s advocate?
  • Where will my loved one live?
  • How much independence can my loved one maintain?
  • Will the money I provide last for my loved one’s lifetime?

Preserving Government Benefits/Special Needs Planning Today
Are government benefits for a special needs person worth preserving? For families of modest or limited means, the answer is almost always, “Yes.” However, for more affluent families, the answer may be, “Maybe not.”

In the past, many planners focused exclusively on preserving public benefits at all costs. Today, special needs planning is not necessarily “poverty planning.” The proper focus today is how to provide the best quality of life throughout the person’s lifetime. It may be better to privatize some special needs care instead of spending thousands to protect a benefit that has a low probability of being available in the future.

Careful planning is necessary to craft a plan that will supplement government benefits that are worth preserving, is flexible enough to adjust to changes in future benefits, will preserve and expand assets, will make sure this person receives proper care, and may even save taxes.

It Takes a Team
For a special needs trust, the proper funding, implementation and periodic review are especially critical because it may have to last a lifetime and often cannot be replaced. Once the plan is in place, it will be need to be managed. Who should do that? The ideal trustee would:

  • use discretion, acting in the best interest of the disabled beneficiary;
  • understand public benefits and keep up with changes in the law;
  • wisely invest and conform to all statutory fiduciary requirements;
  • understand taxes;
  • keep perfect books;
  • provide advocacy and prevent abuse; and
  • be immortal.
Since no one person can meet all of these requirements, often the most effective solution is to divide the responsibilities into areas and have a team of professionals work together. For example:
  • A Corporate Fiduciary Trustee (bank or trust company) keeps perfect books; carries insurance, is bondable or has deep pockets; is immortal.
  • A Care Manager uses discretion and acts in the best interest of the beneficiary; understands public benefits; provides advocacy and prevents abuse.
  • A Financial Advisor invests wisely; conforms to all statutory fiduciary requirements; understands taxes.
  • A lawyer skilled in special needs matters keeps up with the ever-changing laws and regulations and provides wise counsel to the family and the other team members.

Often a professional trustee will manage the funds, make distributions, prepare tax returns and keep the records, but will be directed by a Trust Advisory Committee that makes distributions, can amend the trust or replace the trustee. A care manager can be on this committee or be appointed by the committee.

Another alternative is to have a trustee manage the funds but be directed by a care manager who interacts with the beneficiary. A trust protector or advisor would oversee the trustee and care manager from a distance and would be able to replace either for any reason.

Planning Tip: Many parents think a sibling would be the best trustee, but this is rarely a good idea. Most individuals are just not prepared to handle the responsibilities. A professional trustee likely will, in the long run, be less expensive than the mistakes that are often made by a well-meaning but inexperienced family member. Also, some siblings may be torn between using the trust assets to provide for the beneficiary and preserving the assets, especially if they will inherit the assets after the beneficiary dies. It is usually better to have a professional as trustee, and have the family member be on the Trust Advisory Committee or to be the trust protector.

Planning Tip: The role of the care manager is critical. In most families, one person has been a fierce advocate, actively seeking benefits and supervising the special needs person’s care and progress. The care manager will assume that role and will become the beneficiary’s advocate, seeking and evaluating benefits and programs, supervising the person’s care and preventing abuse. Selecting a care manager while the current advocate is living will give families peace of mind that their loved one will have the quality of life they so strongly desire.

Managing the Trust Assets
Careful investment of the trust assets is critical, since loss of these assets could be catastrophic for the beneficiary. The assets will need to earn or grow enough to provide for or supplement the beneficiary’s care. Trust income can be distributed in such a way that it is taxable to the beneficiary (because the beneficiary will typically be in a much lower tax bracket than the trust itself), but without unintentionally jeopardizing any public benefits the beneficiary may be receiving. This can often be accomplished by having the trustee make direct payments to the providers for care and/or supplemental benefits.

Planning Tip: Insurance on the life of a parent or grandparent is often used to fund these trusts. Using a separate, stand alone trust (instead of a parent’s revocable living trust) will also allow other family members to make gifts to support the beneficiary.

Planning Tip: Tax planning combined with special needs planning can present some unique opportunities. For example, using qualified plans to fund these trusts can offer tax advantages. Charitable trusts can also be used to benefit both the beneficiary and an organization. Families are often grateful to organizations that have provided assistance and benefits to the family member and to them, and often want to help make sure these organizations can continue to provide services to not only their loved one but to other families in the future.

Planning Tip: Families with affluent means will be able to provide more opportunities for their special needs beneficiary. For example, purchasing a home in a residential community will guarantee your loved one will always have a familiar, safe home.

Conclusion
If you or someone close to you has a loved one with special needs, we can help with all phases of the planning and implementation. Contact our office for a consultation.

AN UPDATE ON THE ESTATE TAX: With each day that passes we are less likely to see any Congressional action this year on the estate tax; thus, it is becoming more likely the law will revert to a $1 million federal estate tax exemption in 2011. Your estate plan may need some additions or changes. If you have questions, please contact our office.

1 https://www.oas.samhsa.gov/NSDUH/2k6NSDUH/2k6results.cfm

2 https://www.pendulum.org/bpnews/archive/001884.html

3 Based on criteria specified in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th edition (DSM-IV).

20 Questions

Posted on | by Shelby Smyrl
Written on March 16, 2012 by Dennis Brislawn

The ATF Form 20 is used to get permission to transport an NFA firearm from the state where it is registered to another. It is used for both permanent and temporary relocation. You must submit it for approval by the NFA Branch of the ATF prior to transporting NFA firearms either way, except for the temporary relocation of a silencer.

What are NFA firearms? Machine guns, silencers, short barrel rifles, short barrel shotguns, destructive devices and “any other weapons” which is a category of firearms. Remember, they must all be registered lawfully in the first state, and you must be able to possess them in the second state, or you may be in violation of the law.

What is temporary relocation of a silencer? Well, we have been told six months or more… but we are checking with NFA Branch on this. You may want to submit one anyway to be cautious.

When used for temporary relocation, a Form 20 states the travel dates. If you go past the end date… the instructions say that you will need a NEW Form 20 to be allowed to transport your firearm back home!

You can find the ATF Form 20 here: https://www.atf.gov/forms/download/atf-f-5320-20.pdf

How long does approval take? NFA Branch advises us that you must permit at least 30-45 days for consideration… the more time the better. Given that the same Examiners who approve the transfer of newly purchased or inherited NFA Firearms must review the Form 20, you should allow 60 days or more in our opinion just to be on the safe side. Their workload is extreme, so apply early or you may have to leave your NFA firearm behind.

Do I Go In? by Dennis Brislawn

Posted on | by Shelby Smyrl

Imagine coming home from an evening out… and finding your front door kicked in.  What would you do?  That sense of outrage is there, anger, mixed with some fear about what you will find.  Is the burglar still inside?  What was taken…?

The decision you make in the next few minutes will affect your life for days, months, even until the rest of your life.

There are two paths you can take.  You can go in or you can retreat, observe, and call 911.  Now many of us, gun owners or not, would focus on our rights that were just violated and be tempted to charge in.

1.  “Burglar” could be gone.

2.  “Burglar” could be someone else than a burglar.

3.  “Burglar” could be there… and a confrontation could escalate into a shooting of either or both persons.

One of my SWAT friends and I were discussing the difference between military mindset (close with and destroy the enemy) and the police mindset (save lives).  You see, even when police officers use force in an armed setting there role is to save lives… yes, even of the perpetrator so long as their life or other lives are placed in jeopardy.  I am a civilian now, an armed citizen.  What is MY duty, my “mindset”?

Seems to me that reaching for the cell phone is my first action if there is no immediate peril.  Why?  Because while I may have a moral duty to come to somebody’s aid I do not have a LEGAL duty to do so.  And that is what causes my actions to put me at risk of prosecution.

We can’t use deadly force to protect property, at least in this state.  While going into my own home after or during a break-in is certainly legal… is it smart?  The question seems to me to be is should I do it rather than can I do it.

Are there facts that make me the aggressor?  What if a concerned neighbor or police officer was in there, having seen the broken door?

What do you think?  What facts would change your answer?

WARNING ON PROPOSED TAX INCREASES

Posted on | by Shelby Smyrl
 Dear Friends,
 
Now that the health care law has been declared constitutional, the remaining provisions will be going into effect. One little known provision is a new 3.8% investment income surtax, also called the health care surtax or the Medicare tax; it will go into effect on January 1, 2013.[1]
 
The estate planning community has circled the wagons in preparation for the new surtax.  The following is a letter of information and warning.  Your present or planned investments may be heading you into shark filled waters.  Thanks to CPA Bob Keebler for spearheading effort in spreading this information
 
This new surtax will be assessed on the lesser of a) net investment income or b) the excess of modified adjusted gross income (MAGI) over the “threshold amount.” For married taxpayers filing jointly, the threshold amount is $250,000; married filing separately, $125,000; all other individual taxpayers, $200,000. For trusts and estates, it is the beginning of the top income tax bracket ($11,650 in 2012).
Stated another way: 1) If your modified adjusted gross income (MAGI) is less than or equal to the threshold amount that applies to you, you will not pay this tax. 2) If your modified adjusted gross income (MAGI) is greater than the threshold amount that applies to you, you will pay the 3.8% tax on the lesser of a) your net investment income or b) the amount of your MAGI over the threshold amount.
 
Note that the surtax liability is determined on income before any tax deductions are considered. That means your deductions could put you in the lowest income tax bracket, yet you could still have investment income that is subject to the surtax. Also, the capital gain rate is scheduled to increase for high-income taxpayers to 20% in 2013, so the total tax on capital gains (with the surtax) could be 23.8% in 2013 and beyond.
 
The good news is that there are some steps you can take this year to help you avoid or reduce the amount of surtax beginning in 2013. Also, 2012 is an exceptional year for estate planning in general. The federal estate tax exemption is $5.12 million, which allows a married couple to transfer as much as $10.24 million from their estate with no estate tax. Under current law, this exemption is scheduled to shrink to $1 million in 2013. Other Bush tax cuts, including income and capital gain taxes, are set to expire at the end of 2012. With the new 3.8% surtax becoming effective in January, 2013 is on track to have the highest tax rates we have seen in years.
 
Now, more than ever, you need the assistance of experienced professionals to advise you and help you implement the best plan for you and your family. I stand ready to assist you.
 
 
Sincerely,
 
Donald S Singer
 
[1] The content of this letter is adapted in part from information provided by the nationally recognized tax professionals at Keebler & Associates. For more information please visit their website at https://www.keeblerandassociates.com. The full text of the Health Care Act is available online at https://www.healthcare.gov/law/full/index.html, with the relevant provisions beginning at Section 1411 at page 946.

Take Advantage of the $5.12 Million Dollar Gift Tax Exemption . . . Before it’s too late.

Posted on | by Shelby Smyrl
There has been a lot of media coverage about the Bush tax cuts that are set to expire on December 31, 2012 and whether they will be extended for all taxpayers or if they will be discontinued for top earners. But not nearly as much has been said about the current estate and gift tax rates that are also due to expire on December 31.
 
What we have for the next few months is, indeed, an historic opportunity in estate planning, one we have never had before and likely will never see again.
 
You may remember that, at the end of 2010, Congress put in place a two-year estate tax provision, probably with the assumption that two years would give it time to do something more permanent. In this provision was a huge gift that no one had been expecting: a $5 million gift and estate tax exemption, the highest it has ever been. It was indexed for inflation for 2012, making it even higher—$5.12 million—but for this year only.
 
Not nearly enough people have taken advantage of this. Some think it doesn’t apply to them because their net estate is less than $5.12 million, and others think they can’t use it because they don’t plan to die in 2012. But they are mistaken, and are likely missing the chance of a lifetime when it comes to estate planning.
 
Here’s why 2012 is such an incredible year for estate planning:
  • This is a combined gift and estate tax exemption, so you don’t have to die in 2012 to use it. You can use it to make gifts in 2012 and still exclude up to $5.12 million from estate taxes when you die, regardless of the amount of the estate tax exemption at that time.
     
  • This exemption is per person, so a married couple can give twice this amount, or up to $10.24 million.
     
  • Under current tax law, the $5.12 million exemption we have in 2012 will decrease to just $1 million on January 1, 2013. In addition, the top tax rate will increase from 35% in 2012 to 55% in 2013. This means that if your estate is over $1 million and you don’t plan now, more of your estate will go to pay estate taxes if you die in 2013 or later, leaving less for your loved ones.
     
  • The generation-skipping transfer (GST) tax exemption is another reason to plan this year. This tax applies when you transfer assets (by gift or inheritance) to a grandchild, great-grandchild or other person more than 37.5 years younger than you. It is equal to the highest federal estate tax rate in effect at the time and is in addition to the federal estate tax. In 2012 the exemption for the GST tax is also $5.12 million ($10.24 million for married couples) and the tax rate is 35%. Next year, the exemption will be about $1.4 million and the top tax rate will be 55%. Planning now lets you leave considerably more to grandchildren and future generations without paying this tax—or gift or estate taxes.
     
  • Current law also has income tax rates increasing in 2013.
     
  • In 2012, we have options that estate planners have come to rely upon as “standards.” For example, currently you can make gifts using life insurance, various trusts, family limited partnerships and others—often using discounted values that make your exemption go even further—and still keep control. But these may soon be history as lawmakers search for more ways to generate revenue and close perceived loopholes.
     
  • Lastly, interest rates are at historic lows and thus there has never been a better time to do intra-family loans and other interest-rate-sensitive planning.
 
In short, 2012 is a very favorable time for estate planning. In 2013, the laws are not nearly as favorable.
 
Of course, Congress could change the laws before January 1, but we only have to look at recent history to see how likely that may be. Starting in 2001, Congress increased the amount exempt from estate and gift taxes, from $675,000 in 2001 to $3.5 million in 2009. The intent was to give Congress time to reform these tax laws. A “stick” to motivate them was included: if Congress did not act, there would be no estate tax in 2010. Congress did not act in time, so in 2010, for one year, there was no estate tax. As a result, there were some very wealthy people who died that year (including George Steinbrenner, owner of the New York Yankees) whose estates paid no estate tax.
 
Keep in mind that even if Congress does change the law, we have no idea what the new law will look like. And it’s best to plan based on what we know—not on what we think might happen.
 
Those who have sizeable resources, and their families, stand to benefit the most from the $5.12 million exemptions. But, remember, those with net estates of more than $1 million can also benefit.
 
This once in a lifetime opportunity is about to expire. You don’t want to miss it.

Message In A Bottle: Just How Important is Your

Posted on | by Shelby Smyrl
Recently I reorganized my kitchen, emptying a series of about 20 bottles filled with corks to make better use of the counter space they occupied. These bottles filled with corks marked every bottle of wine opened in my home since I became a single woman in 2006. Okay, lest you think me a lush, the bottles were, every one of them, opened in the company of friends and family. I collected each one as a remembrance that my life is still abundant, still full of love and laughter and company and joy, despite the fact that I left a very financially secure marriage. Every time I saw the corks, their numbers growing each week because I have a very open door home, I smiled in the remembrance of my chosen, and ever-growing family. They made me feel like a very wealthy woman indeed.

Toward the bottom of the last bottle I was emptying, I spotted a cork that was different than all the rest. It had a black plastic top. I read the lettering, “McCallum” and instantly remembered why I’d saved that one particular cork. It was the cork from the bottle of McCallum my father had a drink from on his final visit to my home, just weeks before he died. I’d kept first the actual McCallum bottle, then parted with the bottle and kept the cork.

A cork. To remember my father by.


Every day I work with moms and dads to help them make sure their affairs are very well in order if something happens to them. This work, the end product, releases parents from a least a couple of the worries that arrive the moment a child arrives on the planet. When parents complete their planning (it’s never actually finally complete but that’s another post), they always remark that they feel so much better knowing it’s done. They sleep better, feel stronger and more grown up. Because they’ve passed through a door that few parents do—and that’s taking control of everything in their power to control—even unto death.

The very best part of this work, though, is inviting parents to create an inheritance that lasts far longer and is more powerful than money. When I describe what we’ll do to create that inheritance—record their life and love story on digital media and include that as part of their plan—someone always cries, recognizing the deeper truth that no amount of money can replace a lost parent. Nothing. The best we can do, and least we should try to do, is capture the memory of that parent so that the child can heal, can remember, can proceed through life knowing the most important thing a child can know—that they are and have always been loved.


If you’re tempted to think, “Oh my kids don’t care about that. They wouldn’t need to see me to get over it. They’d heal,” just remember one particular attorney who kept a cork to remember her father.


Give them more than a cork. Give them you. Your estate planning attorney can help.

Granny’s Got a Gun

Posted on | by Shelby Smyrl

by Dennis Brislawn

Several months back I was invited to an elderly client’s home.  I mentioned to her two sons that I was doing gun trusts and they asked me to explain.  So I told them a little about my project and we talked about some gun stuff, target shooting, and what guns meant in our families growing up.

A couple of days later the boys mentioned that their mom, 92 years old, wanted to invite me over for coffee to show me some guns that she owned.  I jumped at the chance to go “walkabout” rather than stay in the office…

What I saw was surprising, although maybe in retrospect it should not have been.

I got to the house, and was welcomed in.  Armed with a hot, tasty cup of coffee (black as a banker’s heart, the way it should be presented!), I was escorted to a back bedroom where mom was waiting.  There, proudly displayed on her bed, were a number of well-used firearms in excellent condition.  Some looked kind of old… (pictures below are not hers but give you an idea).

Each one had a story.  Each one was the property of a great grandparent or grandparent, had been lovingly cared for and passed won in the family.  In fact, these rifles were not only antiques… family members carried them West and homesteaded in Washington with them in the late 1800 or so.  One was a Sharps rifle with a big flip-up sight… and her grandma used it to get vittles for the pot.

Legacy?  Sure.  We talked for about an hour and a half, and the boys (my age, late 50′s) were so obviously proud of these firearms.  Both boys told stories of shooting with their dad, mom and other family members, of hunting and camping trips and visits to the old family homestead in Eastern Washington.  I told them about visiting two of my family’s homesteads, one in Sprague, Washington and one a couple of miles south of Omak, Washington.  Mom told me about her mom, and her grandma the pioneer.  In fact, her mother homesteaded a parcel of land as a girl with her mother I understand.

At the end of the day, I felt a deep connection with my client family.  I was an honored insider into a piece of their heritage and their lives.  That was very precious to me.  Was this about business?  I suppose, but that was not the takeaway value for me.  The experience, insight, and shared feelings were, and are.  I can tell you, if that family needs something from me, they are on my “special attention” list… because it’s personal in a way it wasn’t before.

Guns have history… and tell our history.  Don’t let anyone tell you different.  Remember, Granny DOES have a gun.  And knows how to use it.